The Rescue…

Lying staring to the sky my back flat on a cold rock, I have only felt this way one other time.  This feeling is one that is hard to describe, it is not one in which I can just give a silly analogy to give you the reader something to go off of.  This feeling is true deflation.   Imagine in an instant you suddenly know your everyday being has suddenly changed, but is it this instant or an accumulation which has climaxed at this moment.  One thing was for certain however, I was in a heap of pain.  The bone had pushed through the skin on impact, as soon as I found my weight back I gave a full assessment finding this and quickly grabbing my leg to shift it back into the skin.

And now at rock bottom, staring into the sky in wonder, everything was suddenly out of my control.  This is a place I rarely find comfort, but this time is different.  Suddenly trapped in a place which is so hard to see how on earth it will end ok, the best thing for me to be was passive accepting and knowing that it will all eventually turn out ok.  True friends hold it down for you here, or in the case of my leg, hold it up to try and control the swelling (THANKS BRENT).  And in that moment the waiting game was on.  As the pain came in waves over the next two hours so did my moods, it is really so interesting how self control can fly off the hinges in some scenarios.

Then they showed up, the good old Fayetteville, WV EMS.  What a bunch these guys are.  If you are unfamiliar the area in which we were climbing this day is about a 20-30 min hike, you have to go down ladders to get to it, and as they showed up it was apparent their trainings did not involve being fit enough to tackle that on the daily.  But suddenly I was felt better just feeling that presence.  They hooked me up with some morphine, set me all up in the little yellow basket, gave me an orange helmet and away we went as they hauled me up Endless Wall.

As I left the beauty once more with my tail between my legs knowing I breached her value with my attitude towards her, this time I was learning my third.  No one can thrive on their own, when we are down, share yourself fully; there is support for us in many different ways.  At the same, we must begin to listen without this you will be just another rambling man lost in his own wake; in order for us fully to benefit from the brilliance of support it goes both ways. 

After they hauled me up, hiked me out, and drove me down the road for the first and hopefully only time in my whole life that I got to ride in a helicopter, even in times like this life has an interesting way of giving us experiences.  Next time I write it will be of the Surgery I hope you enjoyed this Chapter, and I hope you will check in again.

NTVS

Chapter Two

The Day.

I awoke after the standard evening drive westward on 64 that I had become accustom to over the last year since our last chapter took place, it was beautiful that morning 60 and sunny, absolutely perfect.  I of course grabbed a cup of Roger's classic magic weight loss coffee, and worked out the day plans with the crew.  But with the weather as it was we only had one choice, Endless.  I was so stoked; I can still remember the eagerness I felt that morning.  The same feeling you had on Christmas morning when you were five, I knew there was routes to be done that day it was to perfect out not to be that way.  It was weird morning, I knew something was going to happen, but I was never prepared for the actual event.  But isn’t it crazy how we just have some way of knowing, you can feel if something is up, and at the same time you never truly know and sometimes wish you didn't. 

We worked our way down to Kaymoor Slabs, and the anxiousness hit me full force.  Everyone was jumping on warm-ups, and I had a fire burning under my ass that I had to run up something to try to get away from.  I had been on Idol Point Arête once before and got a pretty good beating, but someone once told me, when you feel brave be brave so I gunned for her, looking back bravoiry was not my fuel.  When I got to the top I realized I had made a big mistake, I trusted the Steve Cater guide and was down to one quickdraw, awesome.  But I was sending and feeling good so I went to the anchors with just one draw and no one else climbing the route, I cleaned and lowered.  Looking back, I was getting a little big for my britches and just being way to gun hoe. 

After it all worked out and my head inflation was reaching full capacity, made our way back to the rest of the crew who were slowly working through the slabs.  Oh man, the burning in the pants was back but this time I had a little extra something riding with me after the last route.  There she stood, in all her glory, I was very intrigued she stands out you know, not like any others around she is proud.  All I knew of her was that she was not having it the last time.  I sat for a moment, and thought.  I had to try again; something about her just pulled me in.  I tied in, and took off again.  I wanted to woe her, the pump built as I moved up a little higher with each move I was so foolish to think that I was on my way.   From here it is all a bit of a blur, except for this picture that was captured just moments before.

“Tree”, I can still here Brent saying it.  Then I stopped, not by the rope however, I had landed in a seated position directly on my shin in the tree that stands directly in front of the route in the picture from my last post.  As I worked my way off of the branch I could already feel it, it was broke really broke.  My efforts to be worthy of her had been thwarted again.  Lesson Two, Gorge of the Jungle was defiantly faked, trees are really hard.  No that’s not really lesson two however I wish it were this simple sometimes.  You are never just worthy of anything or anyone.

But for now it is late, and I have a big day ahead, but I am in hopes you will be back soon to read on.

NTVS

Learning through Experience.

Four the next couple of days I will be posting a new short chapter of an Experience that to this day has been very influential on the way I live my life.  But as my last post described, I lost touch with much of this recently, and now I would like to share my reminiscence with you.

The Route

In wake of my preface with my last post, now I feel it is time to tell of the Experience.  This event was one that took place three years ago this November, and took the process of over a full year to completely come together.  But some things are just worth waiting for, and this one is no exception.  In this I formed a relationship with a route that is easily the one I am most proud of.  Last weekend as I sat under this white, orange and black beauty, I was literally awe struck that I had forgotten what she had taught me as it all came rushing back starting with a nervous feeling in my stomach and ending with my fingers sweating.  I had fallen into the old saying “fool me once”, at that point I guess I just had to learn the lesson, but to have forgotten this and be “fooled twice” shame on me, this time I will not forget for it has affected far more than myself.

Pudd's Pretty Dress

The first time I laid eyes on this route was with a good friend of mine Matt Londrey, it was a day that is still in the top five most fun climbing days I have ever had.  Neither of us really understood going climbing outside yet we quickly hiked our way up and down the breath taking Endless Wall of the New River Gorge, picking routes that sounded cool by their description and grade and then going in search of them one by one back and forth up and down Endless, which is called Endless for a good reason.  But we didn’t know any better or did we care, we were stoked, back and for we hiked chasing descriptions and grades, like a freshman in college trying to find the party.  The description read, “Overhanging orange wall. Awesome route!”  We passed it two or three times trying to find it, yes we were still learning how to really use a guide book too.  We flailed then bailed, neither of us able to make it to the top of the route.  And honestly served us right, she was far too beautiful for us to try to talk to.  Later I realized just how inexperienced we were when I later found that sometimes it takes climbing sideways to go upward, literally just a move or two left.  Just like life, running for the anchors sometimes comes with moving horizontally to make forward progress, keeping this in sight is difficult.   Just as the path we must take through life we cannot just gun for the top, but keep our eyes open in search for the line of least resistance, what will keep us on route and moving ahead towards our end goal, our anchors.  Lesson One should have been learned on this day but hindsight is 20-20 I guess J

Little did I know as I walked away from her with my tail between my legs like the beaten dog I deserved to be that this had the potential to be something more.  And in the back of my mind she always stayed.

NTVS

Wanting it is the first step...

Today I had a crazy thought I would love to share.  For some time now I have found myself wanting so many new things out of life, found myself for the first time in my short life looking ahead and trying to get myself set up for the things that I truly want out of life as well as do in life.  This in a way has engulfed my person, to the point that I began to lose touch with the things that at that point right in front of me were so great. 

Does this mean that wanting these things is unjust?   (This is where it gets interesting.)

 Wanting these things is ok; it is how you let it affect your motivations and attitudes that become blurry.  I know the things I want, and continuously found myself feeling very out of touch with being able to get them.  In our fast pace society, were we look for immediate satisfaction it is easy to begin to get frustrated with where you are at now and where you will be tomorrow, in a week and in a month.  This short term mind set was holding me down and drowning me in a pool of Desire.  But still I wanted, and this circle of frustration only built upon its self to a point that I completely lost touch with the knowledge I already possessed to get towards these things.  Losing sight of the fact that the Journey, the Path we ride along, takes us through many different emotions along the way of getting to the things and places we want and desire.  And at the same time not losing touch with appreciating what we already have gained along the way.  In this I mean the things we have accomplished, people we have befriended, people we love, they all play a huge role.  You learn everything from these relationships and owe everything to these relationships. 

And so now with this, what is the toughest part is the Path, the road is never smooth and easy going, things are going to be hard, but what makes a man is the way in which he deals with this along the way.  Keeps in sight what is good, uses what is not to press harder towards where he wants to be and puts a smile on along the way.   

NTVS

The Awakening

A sudden rustle and a breath that fills the lungs

A whisper gives an unsettling stir

Light suddenly shines through

Welcome spring with your lack of leaves in the trees

There is a feeling so open this can no longer stay in

There is stillness with the breeze,

Flowers are blossoming,

Will you be one?

Will you see this new opportunity of life?

Or continue to stay cold

The choice is all yours

Can you stand up and fight to make life

But nothing of a beautiful yellow

Ever came from laying low or being mellow

The First..

As many things start and finish in life, things come in waves racing in quickly yet in a subtle fashion from far far away, if you looked you could see them coming.  Without this attention however you would never have known its presence arising upon you.  As a youngster I remember being mesmerized by just the thought of this event in the water, a simple concept.  Like these waves I viewed from a seated position propped atop a piece of foam covered in fiberglass.  I can remember feeling one with myself.  But never did i conceive of everything I could have gained from these experiences, which were short and infrequent when looked at in the grand scheme.  This is what i let myself get sucked in to, and in this i rarely took away all that I could from every experience i have had.  But now i am grateful for experiences such as these, and am ready to learn and share.  And through words which i have always had such a hard time putting together other than in a notebook for only myself to see.  I am happy to welcome you the reader to my first of many blogs.

I have chosen the name "In Absence of Stone" because if it were not for this exact thing, I would be participating in the sport i have fallen completely in love with.  It is not only my interest in this sport i am excited to be sharing with you the reader, it is my greatest interest to bring to the plate the things that run through my everyday mind.  The encounters i have, the things i read, how they inspire me (and hopefully you), I feel that even though i live a reasonably normal everyday life, I am lucky to have the experiences I do and I would like to share them with whomever it may interest.

So for the next, well however long this wave of my life rolls along i am excited to share with you the reader my thoughts, motivations, creations and well possibly random nonsense. 

Thank you for taking the time to read My First, I am in hopes that you will return to see what is next to be shared from me.

NTVS